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GOOD  FORM 


LETTER-WRITING 


ITS  ETHICS  AND  ETIQUETTE 

WITH  REMARKS  ON  THE  PROPER  USE  OF  MONO- 
GRAMS, CRESTS  AND  SEALS. 


BY 

ARTHUR  WENTWORTH  EATON,  B.  A.,  (HARVARD) 

AUTHOR  OF  "ACADIAN  LEGENDS  AND  LYRICS,"  ETC.; 
TEACHER  OF  ENGLISH  LITERATURE  AND 
RHETORIC,   AND    LECTURER  ON 
MODERN  THOUGHT,  IN  NEW 
YORK  SCHOOLS 


NEW  YORK 
FREDERICK  A.  STOKES  COMPANY 
MDCCCXCIV 


Copyright,  1890, 
By  FREDERICK  A.  STOKES  COMPANY 


PREFACE. 


The  art  of  letter-writing  properly  demands  consider- 
ation in  a  series  of  books  on  "  Good  Form,"  for  there 
are  not  many  arts  so  universal  or  so  necessary,  and 
there  are  to-day  too  few  accomplished  letter-writers. 
Especially  useful  must  a  little  volume  like  the  present 
prove  in  schools  where  careful  attention  has  to  be 
given  to  this  subject  in  its  details. 

The  frequent  reference  here  made  to  English  use, 
has  seemed  necessary  to  the  author  from  the  fact  that 
in  most  things,  and  certainly  in  literature,  the  stand- 
ards of  the  best  English  society  are  properly  those 
that  have  always  been  followed  by  the  best  American 
society. 

Among  famous  letter-writers  have  been  Madame 
de  Sevigne,  Samuel  Pepys,  Arthur  Wilson,  Alexander 
Pope,  Lord  Chesterfield,  Lady  Mary  Wortley  Mon- 
tagu, Lady  Russell,  Horace  Walpole,  Edward  Gibbon, 
Hannah  More,  William  Cowper,  John  Adams,  and  his 
wife,  George  Canning,  Sydney  Smith,  Charles  Lamb, 
Robert  Southey,  John  Wilson,  Miss  Burney,  the  Coun- 
tess of  Blessington,  Thomas  de  Quincey,  Margaret 
Fuller,  William  M.  Thackeray,  and  Mrs.  Carlyle. 


CONTENTS. 


PAGE 

The  Art  of  Letter-Writing,    9 

Construction  of  Sentences,   12 

Choice  of  Words,       .      .      .      .      .      .      .      .  14 

Spelling,  Abbreviations,  Underlining,     ...  16 

Neatness,   17 

Paper,  Ink,  Pen,      .   18 

Size  and  Shape  of  Paper,   21 

Address  and  Date,   22 

Monograms,   25 

Coats  of  Arms  and  Crests,   27 

Envelope,  Seal,  Superscription,   32 

Punctuation  on  the  Envelope,   36 

City  Addresses   39 

The  Beginning  and  Ending  of  Letters,  ...  41 
Letters  to  Tradesmen  and  Servants,   .      .      .  .47 

Letters  Written  in  the  Third  Person,    ...  48 

Invitations  and  Their  Answers,   50 

Postscripts,   54 

Letters  of  Congratulation,  Condolence,  etc.,         .  55 

III -Tempered  Letters,   57 

Anonymous  Letters,   59 

Letters  to  Absent  Friends,   60 

5 


6 


CONTENTS, 


PAGK 

Enthusiam;  Kind  Words  in  Letters,   .      .      .  .61 

Business  Letters,  62 

Post  Cards,  64 

Answering  Letters,  65 

Jokes  ;  Egotism  ;  Haste,  etc.,  66 

Keeping  Letters,  68 

Writing  Materials  for  Guests,  69 

Forms  of  Address  in  Writing  to  Public  Men, 

Officers  of  the  Army  and  Navy,  etc.,  .  .  70 
Forms  of  Address  in  Writing  to  Distinguished 

Englishmen  or  Englishwomen,       .      .      .  .73 


*  True  ease  in  writing  comes  from  art,  not  chance, 
As  those  move  easiest  who  have  learned  to  dance." 

Pope,  Essay  on  Criticism, 

"  In  nothing  can  good  or  bad  form  be  shown  more  clearly  than 
in  one's  correspondence,  under  which  may  be  included  letters  to 
friends,  notes  both  formal  and  informal,  invitations,  answers  to 
invitations,  business  letters,  and  letters  to  tradespeople." 

Good  Form  in  England. 

"  Letter-writing  is  in  fact,  but  conversation  carried  on  with  the 
pen  when  distance  or  circumstances  forbid  the  easier  method  of 
exchanging  ideas  by  spoken  words." 

"  First-rate  quality  in  any  commodity — material,  mental,  moral, 
or  spiritual,  is  not  to  be  had  for  the  asking.  But  pleasant, 
cheery,  happy  letters,  such  letters  as — like  the  quality  of  mercy 
are  twice  blest ;  courteous,  graceful  letters  such  as  win  young 
people  friends  and  go  far  to  keep  such  friends  in  good  humor ; 
hearty,  affectionate  letters,  such  as  strike  the  chords  of  love  and 
awaken  mysterious  tremors  in  response ;  letters  that  tend  to  keep 
us  at  our  best  and  to  protect  us  from  sinking  down  to  our  worst — 
these  any  one  may  write  who  is  not  too  indolent  to  take  the 
trouble  and  not  possessed  by  the  delusion  that  accomplishments 
come  by  nature  as  spots  do  upon  the  leopard's  hide." 

Augustus  Jessopp, 
In  Nineteenth  Century  Review,  August,  1886. 


I 


GOOD  FORM 


LETTER-WRITING 


THE  ART  OF  LETTER-WRITING. 

It  is  often  said  that  letter-writing  has  gone  out  of 
fashion,  by  which  is  meant  that  the  long,  formal  epis- 
tles, descriptive  or  sentimental,  of  our  grandparents  or 
great-grandparents,  are  almost  never  written  now. 
Very  charming,  very  quaint  and  amusing,  some  of 
those  letters  were,  with  their  minute  descriptions, 
shrewd  and  clever  observations,  precise  epithets,  bro- 
caded compliments,  and  stilted  forms  of  address  and 
subscription.  Undoubtedly  long  letters  are  still 
written,  but  the  newspapers  make  detailed  descriptions 
of  all  public  and  most  private  events  no  longer  neces- 
sary ;  and  even  letters  of  sentiment  are  written  now 
in  a  style  more  brief  and  colloquial  than  in  old  times. 
Where  our  forefathers,  following  strictly  orthographic 
and  epistolary  rules,  would  have  written  a  few  long 
letters,  we  commonly  write  a  multitude  of  brief,  hur- 
ried notes.  Indeed  we  live  so  rapidly,  have  so  many 
things  to  see  and  do,  and  so  little  time  to  see  and  do 

9 


IO 


GOOD  FORM. 


them  in,  that  long,  studied  letters  are  no  longer  possi- 
ble. As  a  rule  we  are  compelled  to  write  in  the  brief 
intervals  of  business  or  pleasure,  amidst  a  hundred  dis- 
tractions of  mind,  and  with  little  sense  of  satisfaction 
in  our  work.  Yet  letter-writing  will  never  cease  to  be 
necessary,  nor  will  it  ever  cease  to  be,  like  dancing,  a 
graceful  art  to  be  learned  as  any  other  art  is  learned, 
by  patient  exercise. 

The  inheritance  of  refined  taste,  association  with 
well-bred  people,  and  a  kind  heart,  go  far  toward 
making  rules  for  letter-writing  unnecessary,  but  there 
are  always  points  on  which  people,  especially  young 
people,  need  instruction,  if  they  would  fulfil  all  the  just 
requirements  of  this  art. 

Letter-writing  being  first  of  all  a  necessary  means  of 
communication  between  people  of  the  same  or  differ- 
ent social  grades  should  satisfy  the  demands  of  utility, 
beauty  or  grace,  and  good  feeling.  On  these  three  prin- 
ciples all  rules  for  correspondence  should  be  based, 
and  whatever  fads  or  whims  may  for  the  moment  hap- 
pen locally  to  prevail,  it  will  be  found  that  the  best 
society  everywhere  recognizes  as  inflexible  only  such 
laws  as  tend  to  the  greatest  advancement  of  the  ends 
of  utility,  grace,  and  good  feeling.  Consequently,  there 
are  here,  as  in  every  other  department  of  life,  no  fixed 
laws  or  rules  which  exist  without  reasons  for  their  ex- 
istence. To  one  or  another  of  the  three  principles  I 
have  mentioned  are  to  be  referred  all  the  rules  and 
suggestions  I  shall  give  in  the  following  pages. 


THE  ART  OF  LETTER-WRITING. 


I  I 


The  ordinary  rules  of  composition  and  grammar  ex- 
tend with  full  force  to  letter-writing.  In  any  composi- 
tion, one,  having  first  of  all  something  to  say,  before 
writing  should  take  a  little  time  to  arrange  his  thought, 
and  then  should  try  to  express  himself  in  the  best  and 
clearest  way. 


CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES. 


In  the  framing  of  sentences  a  few  simple  rules  must 
be  kept  in  mind  and  strictly  followed.  Here  are  the 
most  important  : 

(a)  In  every  sentence  we  frame,  the  common  rules 
of  grammar  must  be  observed. 

(b)  In  the  making  of  sentences  two  things  are 
especially  to  be  sought, —  clearness  and  force. 

(c)  Sentences  should,  therefore,  never  be  long  and 
involved  :  each  sentence  should  be  made  to  convey 
but  one  principal  thought. 

(d)  Circumlocutions,  and  fine  writing  should  be 
avoided :  one  should  write  directly  and  simply. 

(e)  We  should  always  make  it  clear  to  what 
nouns  personal  and  relative  pronouns  are  meant  to 
refer. 

(/)  The  proper  sequence  of  the  tenses  of  verbs 
must  be  observed. 

(g)  The  auxiliaries  shall  and  will  must  be  correctly 
used. 

(h)  Each  new  sentence  must  begin  with  a  capital 
letter. 

12 


CONSTRUCTION  OF  SENTENCES.  1 3 


(*)  The  ordinary  rules  of  punctuation  should  be 
strictly  regarded  throughout. 

(/)  Adjectives  or  epithets,  should  be  fitly  chosen, 
and  the  same  adjectives  not  be  too  often  repeated ;  yet 
in  the  choice  of  adjectives,  as  in  the  choice  of  other 
words,  pedantic  strictness  should  be  avoided. 

(k)  Care  should  be  taken  to  give  adverbs,  and 
adverbial  phrases,  like  only,  even,  also,  at  least,  etc., 
exactly  their  proper  places  in  the  sentence,  as,  by 
neglect  of  this  rule,  the  thought  in  the  sentence  may 
be  considerably  changed. 

(/)  In  correspondence,  as  in  conversation,  a  grace- 
ful, flowing  style  should  be  cultivated.  Sentences 
should  follow  each  other  naturally  and  easily,  each  sen- 
tence rather  growing  out  of  the  preceding  than  being 
newly  introduced.  Abruptness  in  writing  like  abrupt- 
ness in  speech  or  manner  is  always  objectionable. 


CHOICE  OF  WORDS. 


Herbert  Spencer,  in  his  "  Philosophy  of  Style,"  like 
most  good  writers  on  rhetoric,  has  much  to  say  about 
the  superiority,  in  general,  of  words  derived  from 
Saxon,  to  words  derived  from  Latin  roots.  On  this 
point,  also,  Prof.  A.  S.  Hill,  in  his  "Principles  of 
Rhetoric,''  and  "  Our  English,"  has  some  judicious 
remarks.  The  conclusion  of  both  writers  is  that  while 
one  should  aim  to  use  strong,  vigorous,  simple  words, 
he  should  never  hesitate  when  his  subject  seems  to 
require  it,  to  use  words  of  greater  elegance,  words 
that  come,  directly  or  indirectly,  from  the  Latin,  or  the 
Greek.  As  a  rule,  however,  fine  words  such  as  avail, 
preclude,  individual,  for  man,  species  for  kind,  gentleman, 
and  lady,  when  it  is  possible,  as  it  usually  is,  to  say, 
man  and  woman,  Creator  for  God,  alliance  for  marriage, 
retire,  for  go  to  bed,  erect,  for  build,  Iknb,  for  leg,  and 
the  like  are  to  be  avoided.  "  It  is  not  well-bred  per- 
sons," says  Professor  Hill,  "  who  are  ashamed  to  use 
the  brief,  simple,  definite,  ordinary  words  which  natu- 
rally come  to  the  lips." 

In  letter-writing,  as  in  conversation,  words  not  in 

14 


CHOICE  OF  WORDS, 


15 


good  use  and  common  slang  should  be  rejected.  No 
well-bred  person  will  drift  into  the  use  of  vulgarisms 
like  the  words  toney,  high-toned,  elegant,  for  agreeable  or 
nice,  girls,  for  maids,  saleslady,  for  saleswoman,  real 
(nice  or  good),  rustler,  and  hustler. 

To  those  who  feel  themselves  deficient  in  the  art  of 
correct  expression,  and  indeed  to  all  persons  inter- 
ested in  the  English  tongue,  I  earnestly  recommend 
Professor  Hill's  books  mentioned  above — books  of 
special  interest  and  suggestiveness ;  and  no  young 
writer  should  be  without  Rev.  Edwin  A.  Abbott's 
"  How  to  Write  Clearly,"  a  small,  inexpensive,  valua- 
ble book. 


SPELLING,  ABBREVIATIONS,  UNDERLINING. 


Many  persons  do  not  naturally  spell  well,  and  so  are 
obliged  to  keep  a  dictionary  always  at  hand.  Such 
persons  should  never  write  a  word,  about  the  proper 
spelling  of  which  they  are  uncertain,  without  looking 
it  up.  Bad  spelling  like  bad  grammar,  is  an  offence 
against  society. 

In  the  body  of  a  letter,  numerals  must  not  be  used 
except  as  dates  and  to  indicate  the  numbers  of 
houses  ;  quantities  should  always  be  fully  written  out. 
Abbreviations  are  likewise  inadmissible.  "  Shall  go," 
for  I  shall  go,  "sd."  for  should,  "  wd."  for  would, 
"  wh."  for  which,  etc.,  are  wrong.  Above  all  things 
never  abbreviate  people's  names,  as  "Mrs.  A."  or 
"  Miss  B." 

Rarely  underline  a  word.  Your  correspondent  is 
expected  to  be  able  to  give  the  proper  emphasis  to 
each  word  in  your  sentence. 


16 


NEATNESS. 


Never  send  out  a  scrawled  or  blotted  or  otherwise 
untidy  note  or  letter.  Such  a  letter  will  be  an  eyesore 
to  him  who  receives  it,  and  its  writer  will  accordingly 
suffer  in  his  estimation. 

Keep  always  a  good  supply  of  clean  blotting-paper 
on  your  desk  or  table,  and  use  it  freely. 

? 


T7 


PAPER,  INK,  PEN. 

The  paper  to  be  used  for  social  correspondence 
should  be  either  white  or  cream-tinted.  Strict  good 
form  does  not  recognize  the  use  of  colored  papers. 
Nor  are  papers  with  a  fancy  finish  of  any  sort  allow- 
able. Plain  white  English  paper,  of  good  quality, 
either  smooth  or  with  a  dead  finish,  is  always  correct. 
The  Princess  of  Wales,  or  the  Duchess  of  Edinburgh, 
would  use  such  paper  for  her  notes.  Tinted  papers 
are  much  used  in  this  country,  but  however  delicate 
and  pretty  they  may  be,  they  are  never  so  refined 
as  white  or  cream-tinted  papers. 

Lined  papers  must  never  be  used  for  social  corre- 
spondence; they  are  extremely  bad  form.  Every 
person  should  be  taught  to  write  evenly  without 
lines,  and  to  preserve  proper  distances  between  his 
lines. 

In  notes  it  is  much  better  to  leave  a  small  margin 
on  each  side  of  the  page,  if  one  can  do  so.  But  the 
margin  must  not  be  too  wide,  and  the  writing  should 
cover  the  part  written  as  evenly  as  possible,  no  one 

18 


PAPER,  INK,  PEN. 


*9 


line  extending  far  beyond  another.  A  crowded  look- 
ing, or  unevenly  covered  page  is  very  bad. 

When  people  are  in  mourning  they  should  use 
black  edged  paper  for  all  their  notes.  In  this  country 
many  people  are  not  so  particular  about  this  as  in 
Europe,  nor  are  those  who  use  mourning  paper  so 
careful  to  have  the  width  of  the  black  edge  vary  with 
the  degrees  of  relationship  to  the  dead.  In  England 
when  a  husband  or  a  wife  dies,  the  survivor  may  use 
paper  with  an  edge  at  least  half  an  inch  wide.  In 
America  this  would  be  very  conspicuous,  and  would 
seem  to  make  an  undue  parade  of  one's  grief,  but  there 
is  an  evident  propriety  in  using  at  different  times 
mourning  paper  of  different  widths  of  border.  There 
is  a  delicate  sentiment  in  all  such  matters  that  should 
not  be  ignored. 

It  was  a  local  fashion,  some  time  ago,  to  use  violet 
ink,  but  colored  inks  are  never  correct.  Black  ink, 
and  that  alone,  should  be  used  for  all  correspondence, 
and  ink  should  always  be  of  the  best  quality,  so  that 
it  may  look  well,  and  not  fade. 

Quill  pens  are  now  comparatively  little  used,  but 
like  other  hand-made  articles,  they  are  always  more 
highly  valued  than  steel  pens,  the  products  of  machin- 
ery, and  the  people  who  can  use  them  comfortably  are; 
to  be  envied.  The  stub  pen  approaches  the  quill 
more  nearly  than  any  other,  and  is  almost  wholly  used 
by  graceful  letter-writers.  Its  use  is  to  be  com- 
mended. 


20 


GOOD  FORM. 


In  business,  fine  handwriting  is  admissable ;  in 
social  correspondence  the  handwriting  should  be  bold 
and  graceful,  and  bear  no  marks  of  the  writing  school, 
or  the  business  college.  Flourishes  and  elaborate  cap- 
itals are  always  in  very  bad  taste. 


SIZE  AND  SHAPE  OF  PAPER. 


Tpiere  are  three  leading  sizes  of  note-paper,  known 
to  stationers  as  commercial,  octavo,  and  billet.  For  long 
letters,  or  in  general  for  men's  use,  the  largest  or 
commercial  size,  is  that  commonly  chosen.  Its  average 
size  is  7^X4^  inches.  If  this  paper  is  folded  once, 
an  envelope  5x4  inches  in  size  is  used,  but  if 
twice,  the  envelope  may  be  oblong,  and  measure 
5/^X3^  inches.  For  ordinary  notes  and  short  letters 
this  paper  is  unnecessarily  large,  and  the  size  most 
popular  for  these  is  octavo,  which  measures  7X4/4 
inches,  and  is  properly  folded  once  to  fit  an  envelope 
measuring  4^X3^4  inches.  For  invitations,  or 
answers  to  invitations  the  billet  size  is  most  correct. 
This  measures  about  6^x4  inches,  and  has  an  envel- 
ope to  fit  measuring  about  4^X3^  inches. 

Paper  should  always  be  purchased  which  folds  in 
the  common  way,  so  that  the  pages  may  turn  like  the 
leaves  of  a  book  ;  sheets  which  turn  from  the  bottom 
upwards  must  never  be  used.  Noticeably  large  or 
very  small  stationery  is  not  good  form,  the  one  looks 
clumsy,  the  other  mean.  Refinement  may  be  shown 
in  the  size  as  well  as  the  quality  and  color  of  the 
paper  chosen  for  correspondence. 

21 


ADDRESS  AND  DATE. 


In  the  upper  right  hand  corner  of  the  paper,  not  too 
high  up,  or  else  in  the  middle  of  the  sheet,  near  the 
top,  may  be  printed  in  black,  or  in  color,  or  be  simply 
embossed,  the  address  of  the  writer.  If  the  address 
be  that  of  the  writer's  country  house,  it  is  desirable 
to  have  the  name  of  the  nearest  railway  station  and 
telegraph  office  in  the  upper  left  hand  corner.  The 
rule  as  to  the  position  of  the  printed  address  is  very 
simple.  If  no  crest  or  monogram  or  other  address 
appear  on  the  sheet  the  address  looks  more  graceful 
in  the  middle  of  the  sheet ;  if  a  crest  is  printed  in  the 
upper  left  hand  corner,  the  address  must  come  in  the 
upper  right  hand  corner.  It  is  however  quite  correct, 
and  especially  on  small  note-paper,  to  print  the  address 
in  the  middle  of  the  sheet  near  the  top,  and  the  crest 
directly  above.  In  an  English  note  which  I  lately 
received,  the  paper  is  printed  as  follows  : 


22 


ADDRESS  AND  DA  TE. 


23 


RoWFANT, 

Crawley, 
Sussex. 


and  the  date  is  written  to  the  right  of  the  word  Sussex 
below.  In  another,  however,  which  comes  from  the 
town  house  of  a  nobleman,  the  address  is  printed  in 
the  right  hand  corner  of  the  sheet  : 


In  this  case  the  date  is  written  just  below  the  ad- 
dress. 

Another  English  note  from  a  person  of  high  stand- 
ing has  the  address  as  follows : 


The  date  here  also  is  written  directly  under  the 
word  "  Kensington. " 

The  position  of  the  date,  in  notes  which  have  the  writ- 
er's address  printed,  is  perhaps  a  matter  of  question. 
Some  of  the  most  graceful  notes  I  have  lately  received 
although  having  the  address  printed  in  the  right  hand 
corner  at  the  top,  have  the  date  written  at  the  end. 


54  EATON  PLACE 
S.  W. 


1,  Marloes  Road, 
Kensington,  W. 


24 


GOOD  FORM. 


To  my  mind  this  is  preferable.  There  is  no  strong 
reason  why  the  address  and  date  should  come  to- 
gether, and  it  gives  the  note  a  more  finished  look  to 
have  the  date  written  gracefully  at  the  end,  in  the 
lower  left  hand  corner.  If  the  address  is  not  printed, 
it  is  more  commonly  written  at  the  end,  with  the  date 
below  it.  In  letters  the  address  and  date  may  properly 
be  written  either  at  the  beginning,  or  at  the  end.  In 
business  letters,  where  both  need  to  be  conspicuous, 
it  is  undoubtedly  better  to  put  them  at  the  beginning. 
In  other  letters  it  is  perhaps  more  graceful  to  put 
them  at  the  end.  But  there  is  no  fixed  rule  in  the 
matter  except  in  the  case  of  notes  of  invitation,  where 
both  must  always  come  at  the  end. 

It  is  an  admirable  plan  to  have  one's  address 
printed  on  his  paper:  it  is  unpretentious,  yet  it  gives 
the  note  or  letter  a  more  elegant  look,  it  saves  writing 
the  address,  and  it  prevents  any  possible  confusion 
regarding  the  place  to  which  an  answer  should  be 
sent. 

No  letter  should  ever  be  sent  out  undated.  The 
date  should  be  written  either  "July  10,  1890,"  or 
"July  tenth,"  or  "  10th." 

Correspondence  cards,  which  are  perfectly  good  form 
and  very  convenient,  often  have  the  day  of  the  week 
engraved  at  the  top.    This  is  quite  correct. 

In  familiar  notes,  where  one's  address  is  well  known, 
it  is  unnecessary  to  write  the  name  of  the  street  or  the 
number. 


MONOGRAMS. 


The  monogram  when  used  at  all,  if  the  address  is 
not  printed,  should  be  in  the  middle  of  the  page.  If 
the  address  comes  in  the  right  hand  corner,  the  mon- 
ogram must  come  in  the  left.  Monograms  are  often 
very  pretty,  and  especially  for  young  ladies,  who  are 
not  suffered  to  use  crests,  they  may  be  considered 
sufficiently  good  form.  The  writer  of  "Good  Form 
in  England/'  however,  is  of  the  opinion  that  in  Eng- 
land, while  not  exactly  bad  form,  monograms  cannot 
be  regarded  as  strictly  good  form. 

Monograms  should  in  no  case  appear  on  the  envel- 
ope. That  should  be  perfectly  plain  unless  it  bear  the 
crest  of  the  writer,  or  be  sealed  with  red  or  black 
sealing-wax,  which  may  be  stamped  with  the  writer's 
crest  if  he  own  one,  or  with  his  initial,  or  a  small  mon- 
ogram. To  have  the  writer's  initials  conspicuously 
printed  across  the  left  hand  corner  of  the  sheet,  thus, 

v 

25 


26 


GOOD  FORM. 


looks  egotistical.  To  have  them  in  the  middle  of  the 
sheet  is  quite  as  bad.  If  one  have  no  crest  he 
should  use  a  good  monogram  or  nothing.  Monograms 
should  be  neat  and  artistic.  Like  the  address  they 
should  be  printed  in  colors  pleasant  to  the  eye,  harsh 
reds  and  greens  especially  being  avoided.  A  mono- 
gram may  be  printed  in  several  colors  without  violat- 
ing good  taste. 


COATS  OF  ARMS  AND  CRESTS. 

The  science  of  heraldry  should  be  far  better  known 
than  it  is.  It  is  a  science  full  of  dignity,  and  there  are 
few  more  interesting  departments,  if  not  of  history,  of 
antiquarian  research.  Sir  Walter  Scott  makes  Di  Ver- 
non say  to  Frank  Osbaldistone  with  half  indignant  sur- 
prise, "  What!  is  it  possible?  not  know  the  figures  of 
Heraldry  !  Of  what  could  your  father  be  thinking  ?  " 
In  European  countries  interest  in  heraldry  is,  of  course, 
more  widespread  than  here,  and  its  laws  are  better  un- 
derstood, but  among  well-bred  people  in  this  country, 
the  subject  is  by  no  means  ignored.  Coats  of  arms 
were  originally  badges  of  social  distinction,  and  when 
people  attain  position  they  naturally  still  wish  for  the 
traditional  badge.  Coats  of  arms  are  of  no  value 
however,  but  rather  expose  those  who  use  them  to  ridi- 
cule, if  they  are  borne  otherwise  than  by  undoubted 
inheritance.  There  are  families  in  America  who  can 
show  an  equal  right  to  their  coats  of  arms  as  to  their 
family  names,  but  it  is  well  known  that  there  are 
people  who  cannot  trace  their  ancestry  for  three  gen- 
erations;  who  do  not  even  know  who  their  earliest 

27 


28 


GOOD  FORM. 


ancestor  in  this  country  was,  much  less  to  whom  they 
are  related  in  Europe,  who  ostentatiously  bear  arms. 
A  fashionable  stationer  has  lately  told  me  that  in  sev- 
eral instances  he  has  been  asked  by  rich  people  to  find 
a  crest  for  them.  They  did  not  even  prescribe  that  it 
should  be  one  borne  by  an  English  family  of  the  same 
name,  but  merely  that  it  should  be  a  pretty  crest. 
Another  says  that  he  has  frequently  been  asked  by 
customers  to  find  for  them  the  finest  crest  belonging  to 
any  family  of  the  same  name  as  that  borne  by  them- 
selves. 

Very  few  well-bred  families  abroad  use  quarterings, 
preferring  to  have  their  arms  as  simple  as  possible  ;  but 
there  is  a  story  told  of  an  American  family  in  Paris 
who  had  had  stamped  on  a  set  of  china  a  coat  of  arms 
with  so  many  quarterings  that  people  who  happened 
to  see  it  in  passing  the  shop  where  it  was  displayed, 
used  to  ask  eagerly  what  noble  duke  owned  it.  Other 
similar  stories  come  to  us  now  and  then  from  abroad, 
which  would  be  amusing  if  they  were  not  so  dis- 
creditable to  American  civilization.  If  arms  are 
not  inherited,  it  is  an  offence  against  society  to  bear 
them.  Families  whose  earliest  ancestors  in  this 
country,  nine  or  ten  generations  ago  brought  here 
a  coat  of  arms  on  book  plates,  or  parchments,  or 
old  silver,  may  be  pretty  sure  that  they  have  a  right  to 
bear  arms.  People  who,  through  recent  researches, 
have  become  well  assured  that  to  some  ancestor 
in  Europe,  in  the  fourteenth,  fifteenth,  or  sixteenth 


COATS  OF  ARMS  AND  CRESTS. 


29 


century,  arms  were  granted,  have  likewise  a  right 
to  them,  but  it  is  to  be  feared  that,  as  a  rule,  the 
people  in  American  cities  who  bear  arms  most  con- 
spicuously, have  simply  taken  them  without  any  regard 
to  ownership.  There  are  few  names  of  British  origin 
in  America  that  are  not  likewise  still  found  in  Britain, 
but  only  patient  genealogical  research  can  make  us 
sure  of  our  relationship  to  these  families,  and  this  re- 
quires the  work  of  honest,  trained  genealogists,  of 
whom  there  are  many  both  in  Great  Britain  and 
America. 

For  a  very  moderate  sum  any  American  family  of 
English  or  Scottish  descent  can  have  its  genealogy 
traced,  if  it  is  possible  to  trace  it,  and  then  its  mem- 
bers will  know  whether  they  may  rightfully  bear  arms 
or  not.  Such  an  inheritance  is  very  valuable,  and 
unless  a  coat  of  arms  originating  in  Britain  has  come 
down  in  one's  family,  from  generation  to  generation, 
and  the  ancestral  line  is  already  traced,  money  spent 
for  genealogical  and  heraldic  research  will  be  well 
spent.  In  a  better  state  of  civilization  the  people  of 
America  will  not  use  coats  of  arms  until  they  can  prove 
their  inherited  right  to  do  so. 

Those  who  have  a  right  to  arms  must,  in  using 
them,  observe  the  following  rules  : 

Coats  of  arms  may  be  used  on  carriages,  and  on  any 
part  of  the  harness  of  horses  where  arms  are  ever  put ; 
but  crests  alone  may  be  put  on  the  buttons  of  servants' 
liveries,  and  on  horses'  blinkers.    Crests  alone,  never 


jo 


GOOD  FORM. 


full  arms,  must  be  used  on  seals  and  silver  and  on 
paper  and  envelopes. 

To  print  the  crest  in  its  own  color  is  more  strictly 
correct,  but  it  may  properly  be  printed  in  any  color, 
or  in  gold  or  silver,  or  be  simply  embossed.  If  the 
address  is  not  printed  it  is  better  to  have  the  crest  in 
the  middle  of  the  paper.  If  the  address  is  printed  in 
the  middle,  the  crest  must  be  directly  above  ;  if  in  the 
upper  right  hand  corner,  the  crest  must  be  in  the 
upper  left. 

The  motto  if  there  be  one  properly  belongs  with  the 
crest. 

It  is  quite  right  for  any  male  descendant  of  a  man 
who  has  properly  borne  arms  to  use  the  family  crest, 
but  the  full  coat  of  arms  belongs  rightfully  to  the  head 
of  the  house  alone  and  may  be  borne  by  the  younger 
branches  only  by  being  differenced.  In  this  country 
where  new  arms  cannot  be  granted,  it  is  certainly  par- 
donable for  any  one,  whether  of  an  older  or  a  younger 
branch  of  a  family,  to  bear  the  full  arms  of  his  ances- 
tor. 

Ladies  do  not  properly  bear  arms  at  all,  unless  they 
are  heiresses.  The  use  of  arms,  or  even  of  a  crest  on 
her  paper,  by  a  young  lady  would  be  extremely  bad 
form.  Abroad  even  married  ladies,  except  those  of 
high  rank,  are  very  chary  in  their  use.  Here  where 
we  have  no  titles  and  where  arms  serve  merely  as  a 
graceful  connecting  link  with  the  past,  I  do  not  think 
that  women  should  be  wholly  debarred  from  the  use  of 


COATS  OF  ARMS  AND  CRESTS. 


31 


at  least  crests.  At  any  rate,  the  use  of  the  family 
seal  may  always  be  granted  them.  An  Englishman 
in  New  York,  the  only  son  of  a  titled  Londoner,  tells 
me  that  he  permits  his  American  wife  to  use  the  fam- 
ily crest,  but  only  in  connection  with  her  printed 
address.  A  married  lady  can,  of  course,  use  only  her 
husband's  crest.  Two  coats  of  arms  can  never  be  used 
by  one  person,  but  sons,  or  daughters  if  they  be  heir- 
esses, may  quarter  their  mother's  arms  in  the  regular 
way.    A  man  can  never  use  his  wife's  arms. 

No  American  should,  under  any  circumstances,  use 
a  crest  on  a  visiting  card.  Arms  should  be  borne  un- 
ostentatiously, and  when  we  have  established  our  right 
to  bear  them,  we  should  carefully  study  the  rules  of 
heraldry  so  as  to  commit  no  solecism  in  their  use. 
There  are  fixed  laws  for  the  use  of  arms  from  which 
we  have  no  right  to  depart,  and  there  are  hand-books 
of  heraldry  which  will  enlighten  us  concerning  these 
laws.  Americans  should  be  especially  careful  to  em- 
ploy in  their  genealogical  and  heraldic  researches  only 
persons  properly  recommended,  for  here  as  everywhere 
else  many  charlatans  are  to  be  found.  By  application 
to  the  librarians  of  the  New  York  Biographical  and 
Genealogical  Society,  23  West  44th  St.,  and  the  Secre- 
tary of  the  New  England  Historic  Genealogical 
Society,  Somerset  St.,  Boston,  the  addresses  of  reliable 
persons  for  genealogical  and  heraldic  research  can  at 
any  time  be  learned. 


ENVELOPE,  SEAL,  SUPERSCRIPTION. 


The  best  English  pronunciation  of  the  first  syllable 
of  the  word  envelope  approaches  as  nearly  as  possible 
the  French  sound  of  en,  a  sound  between  on  and  ong. 
The  accent  is  properly  on  the  first,  not  the  second  syl- 
lable. 

The  envelope  should  always  be  of  the  same  quality 
and  color  as  the  paper  it  is  to  enclose,  and  should  be 
as  nearly  as  possible  the  size  of  the  paper  folded  once. 
For  social  purposes  stamped  envelopes  are  never 
used. 

The  gummed  envelope,  without  a  seal  is  perfectly 
correct,  but  a  neat  seal  of  red  sealing-wax  always  gives 
a  refined  look  to  a  letter  and  is  a  desirable  adjunct 
thereto.  Every  one  should  have  an  engraved  seal 
containing  the  initial  letter  of  his  surname,  his  mono- 
gram, or  if  he  be  so  fortunate  as  to  own  one,  his  crest, 
and  should  use  it  with  red  sealing  wax  on  ceremonious 
notes  and  letters.  If  the  writer  is  in  mourning  black 
sealing  wax  should,  of  course,  be  used,  but  no  other 
colors  except  black  and  red  are  good  form.  "  To  get  a 
good  impression  from  your  seal,"  says  Mrs.  Sherwood, 

32 


ENVELOPE,  SEAL,  SUPERSCRIPTION.  33 


"  you  may  first  rub  it  with  linseed  oil,  then  dust  it  with 
a  little  rough  powder ;  and  then  press  it  quickly  and 
firmly  on  the  wax."  Every  lady's  desk  should  have  on 
it  a  wax  taper,  a  seal,  and  a  large  stick  of  red  or  black 
sealing  wax.  The  impression  must  not  be  made  with 
anything  save  a  proper  seal.  When  finished  the  seal 
should  show  neatness  and  care.  The  envelope  should 
have  printed  on  it  no  monogram  or  other  device,  ex- 
cept it  be  the  crest. 

The  direction  or  superscription  of  a  letter  should  be 
as  graceful  as  possible.  It  is  this  that  first  meets  the 
eye  and  it  should  be  in  such  good  taste  that  the  re- 
ceiver would  be  unconsciously  attracted  towards  the 
contents  of  the  letter.  A  refined  letter  like  a  well-bred 
man  or  woman  should,  on  the  outside  show  unmistak- 
able marks  of  refinement. 

In  directing  a  letter  to  a  gentleman  or  a  man  recog- 
nized as  a  gentleman,  never  by  any  chance  preface 
his  name  with  Mr.  In  England  the  well-known 
rule  is  to  use  Mr.  to  tradesmen  and  mechanics,  but 
never  to  men  of  recognized  social  position.  In  this 
country  the  conditions  are  somewhat  different,  but 
here  as  there,  the  line  can  easily  be  drawn.  If  we 
should  write  for  a  plumber  to  inspect  our  gas  pipes  we 
should,  of  course,  address  him  as  "  Mr.  John  Jones," 
but  if  our  letter  was  to  a  professional  man  or  a  person 
of  any  social  standing  in  the  community  we  should  scru- 
pulously address  him  as  "  John  Jones  Esquire,"  the 
Esquire  or  Esq'r.,  being  written  with  a  capital  E.  No 

3 


34 


GOOD  FORM. 


matter  how  young  the  man  may  be,  if  too  old  to  be 
addressed  as  Master^  he  has  a  right  to  expect  the  title 
Esquire.  This  is  traditional  English  good  form  and  we 
have  no  right  to  disregard  it.  When  it  is  necessary  to 
address  a  man  and  his  wife  at  once,  the  following 
forms  are  correct : 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Charles  Smith,  or 
The  Reverend  Reginald  and  Mrs.  Starr,  or 
The  Reverend  Dr.  and  Mrs.  Willoughby. 

It  is  common  in  America  to  address  an  invitation  to 
a  man  and  his  wife  in  this  way,  but  traditional 
English  custom  gives  the  wife  the  right  to  represent 
the  family  in  all  social  matters,  and,  as  I  sliall  have 
occasion  to  say  further  on,  directs  that  her  name  alone 
shall  appear  on  the  envelope  containing  an  invitation, 
or  reply  to  an  invitation,  in  which  her  husband's  name 
as  well  as  hers  is  found. 

Authorities  differ  as  to  whether  two  unmarried 
sisters  should  be  addressed  as  the  Miss  Thomsons,  or 
the  Misses  Thomson ;  interesting  discussions  on  this 
point  will  be  found  in  all  the  leading  dictionaries. 
The  best  rule  undoubtedly  is  in  speaking,  to  say,  the 
Miss  Thomsons  :  in  addressing  a  letter,  to  write,  The 
Misses  Thomson.  In  the  body  of  the  letter  the 
colloquial  form  is  preferable. 


ENVELOPE,  SEAL,  SUPERSCRIPTION.  35 


In  writing  Mrs.  or  Esq'r.  it  is  better  form  to  raise  the 
letters  rs  in  Mrs.y  and  the  r  in  Esqr-  considerably 
above  the  other  letters.  When  one  has  occasion  to 
write  Mr.  the  same  rule  should  be  followed. 

A  letter  to  a  physician  should  be  addressed  : 

Ralph  Waldo,  Esq'.  M.  D. 

A  letter  to  the  younger  of  two  men  of  the  same 
name  should  be  : 

M.  G.  Haughton,  Junf '.,  Esqr. 

The  proper  abbreviation  for  Reverend,  is  Rev'd. 
A  letter  to  a  clergyman  should  be  addressed  as 
follows  : 

The  Revd. 

Frank  Thompson. 

The  article  The  should  always  precede  the  Revd.y 
and  the  d.  which  ends  the  abbreviation  Revd.  should 
properly  be  raised  above  the  other  letters. 


PUNCTUATION  ON  THE  ENVELOPE. 


It  is  unnecessary  to  punctuate  the  superscription  of 
a  letter.  The  most  elegant  books  have  few  if  any 
punctuation  marks  on  their  title  pages,  or  in  their 
running  titles  ;  and  many  people  of  taste  likewise  omit 
them  in  the  superscriptions  of  their  letters.  Punctua- 
tion marks  are  intended  to  make  the  sense  clearer,  but 
the  titles  of  books  and  the  superscriptions  of  letters 
are  sufficiently  plain  without  them,  and  by  many,  in 
these  cases,  they  are  regarded  as  blemishes.  If  a 
letter  is  punctuated,  the  punctuation  should  be  as 
follows : 

Harry  Hamiltoii,  Esqr.y 

38,  East  \oth  St., 

New  York. 

The  reason  for  the  comma  after  the  number  38,  is 
probably  that  some  preposition  like  on  belongs  here, 
the  omission  of  which  makes  the  phrase  elliptical. 

The  common  abbreviations  of  Esquire  to  Esq'r.,  and 
Street,  or  Avenue  to  St.,  or  Ave.,  are  perfectly  good 

36 


PUNCTUATION  ON  THE  ENVELOPE.  37 


form,  but  the  words  may  of  course  be  written  fully  if 
one  prefers. 

Mr.,  Mrs.,  and  Miss,  are  abbreviations  respectively 
of  Master,  and  Mistress,  but  while  in  most  diction- 
aries, Mr.,  and  Mrs.  are  treated  as  abbreviations,  Miss 
is  never  so  treated.  Stormonth,  however,  our  highest 
authority  in  such  matters,  evidently  feeling  the  neces- 
sity for  uniformity  in  these  words,  treats  Mr  and  Mrs 
like  Miss,  as  words  or  signs  fully  naturalized  in  the 
language,  and  not  abbreviations  of  words,  although  he 
gives  the  same  account  of  their  origin  as  other  lexi- 
cographers. I  therefore  conclude  that  one  may  regard 
Mr.  and  Mrs.  as  abbreviations  or  not,  as  he  pleases. 
If  they  are  so  regarded,  as  in  the  case  of  all  abbrevia- 
tions  on  the  envelope  or  in  the  body  of  the  lettet.  a 
period  must  be  carefully  placed  after  them. 

A  married  lady  must  never  be  addressed  by  her 
Christian  name  or  names,  she  is  always  "  Mrs.  George 
Layton,"  not  "  Mrs.  Anna  Layton." 

The  question  is  often  asked,  "  How  should  a  wid^w 
be  addressed — by  her  Christian  name,  or  by  the  name 
of  her  deceased  husband  ?  In  this  matter  custom 
varies,  "but  it  seems  to  me  decidedly  better  form  to 
address  her  by  her  husband's  name.  There  is  no 
reason  why  a  widow  as  long  as  she  remains  so,  should 
not  be  "  Mrs.  Brenton  Harris,"  the  name  she  has 
borne  during  her  married  life.  There  are,  how- 
ever, cases  where  it  will  probably  seem  more  nat- 
ural to  address   her   as  "  Mrs.    Margaret  Harris," 


38 


GOOD  FORM. 


and  then  it  will  undoubtedly  be  quite  correct  to 
do  so. 

To  or  For  on  a  letter  is  unnecessary. 
For 

Paul  Layton,  Esqr. 

looks  pedantic.  Never  put  the  words  "  Present," 
"  Addressed,"  "  Favored  by,"  or  "  Kindness  of  "  on 
your  envelopes  :  they  are  not  in  good  use. 

There  is  art  even  in  putting  the  postage  stamps  on 
letters  :  they  should  always  be  put  on  evenly  and  not 
too  near  the  edge. 

Do  not  address  your  letters  upside  down,  and  do 
not  wrongly  address  them.  Punch  once  gave  the  fol- 
lowing :  "  Hullo,  Pythagoras,  what's  the  matter  ?  O 
my  dear  fellow,  I've  been  writing  to  my  tailor  to  put 
another  inch  and  a  half  in  my  waistband,  and  I've 
composed  a  valentine  to  my  adored  Anna,  and  Oh, 
I've  put  'em  in  the  wrong  envelopes  ! " 


CITY  ADDRESSES. 

A  point  of  interest  chiefly  to  dwellers  in  cities  de- 
mands attention  here.  It  is  the  question  whether  letters 
sent  between  two  points  in  the  same  city  should  have  in 
their  addresses  the  full  name  of  the  city,  with  or  without 
the  word  "City,"  or  *he  word  "City"  alone.  Letters 
sent  by  the  hands  of  a  messenger,  especially  notes  of 
invitation,  require  nothing  below  the  name  and  num- 
ber of  the  street,  good  taste  dictating  that  the  address 
in  such  cases  should  be  as  simple  as  possible.  Letters 
sent  by  mail  require  the  name  of  the  city,  as  Boston, 
New  York,  Philadelphia,  or  Chicago,  fully  written  out. 
The  word,  "City"  alone  may  perhaps  be  tolerated  on 
business  letters,  but  like  most  abbreviations,  it  is  bad  form 
for  social  correspondence.  '  *  New  York  City' '  is  without 
doubt,  the  more  perfect  form  of  address,  especially  since 
New  York  is  likewise  the  name  of  the  state  ;  but  as  a 
letter  sent  from  one  point  to  another  in  Boston,  or 
Chicago  is  addressed  simply  "Boston,"  or  "Chicago/' 
so  in  New  York  the  address  will  be  perfectly  clear  if  it 
be  only  "New  York."    If  we  are  writing  from  some 

39 


40 


GOOD  FORM. 


other  place  we  must  add  either  "  City,"  or  else,  below 
the  name  of  the  city  the  initials,  "  N.  Y." 

Indeed,  letters  sent  from  state  to  state,  or  from 
town  to  town  in  the  same  state,  should  always  bear 
in  their  address  the  name  of  the  state  or  its  legal 
abbreviation. 


/ 


THE  BEGINNING  AND  ENDING  OF  LET- 
TERS. 


The  various  degrees  of  intimacy  between  ourselves 
and  our  correspondents  are  denoted  by  the  following 
scale  of  customary  forms  of  address : 

Sir,  or  Madam, 

Dear  Sir,  or  Dear  Madam, 

My  dear  Sir,  or  Dear  Madam, 

Dear  Mr.  Jones,  or  Dear  Mrs.  Jones, 

My  dear  Mr.  Jones,  or  Dear  Mrs.  Jones, 

My  dear  Friend. 

The  corresponding  scale  of  forms  in  the  closing  of 
letters  is : 

Truly  yours,  or*  Yours  truly, 
Very  truly  yours, 
Sincerely  yours, 
Very  sincerely  yours, 

Faithfully,  or  Cordially,  or  Very  sincerely  yours, 
Affectionately,  or  Faithfully  yours, 

4* 


42 


GOOD  FORM. 


As  a  rule  it  is  more  graceful  to  put  the  word  yours 
last. 

Letters  to  friends  should  never  begin  "  Dear 
Friend  "  or  "  Friend  Max."  The  name  of  the  person 
written  to  should  always  be  given,  but  never  with 
"Friend."  "Dear  Charles,  or  "Dear  Mary,"  or 
else  "  My  dear  Mr.  Butler,"  or  "  My  dear  Mrs. 
Childs,"  are  the  only  correct  forms.  Be  careful  not  to 
write  dear  with  a  capital  D  when  it  is  preceded  by 
"  My."  After  "  My  dear  Charles,"  either  a  comma  or 
a  colon  is  correct.  A  colon  looks  a  little  heavy,  there> 
fore  a  comma  is  generally  to  be  preferred.  A  third 
mark  of  punctuation  between  the  address  and  the 
body  of  the  letter,  is  the  colon  with  a  dash.  This  is 
still  more  formal  than  the  colon,  and  its  use  in  ordi- 
nary letters  is  not  desirable. 

In  the  address,  Sir,  or  Madam  should,  of  course, 
always  begin  with  a  capital :  as  also  should  Father, 
Mother,  Sister,  or  Brother.  In  the  closing  form,  the 
word  beginning  the  phrase,  as  Very,  in  "Very  sin- 
cerely yours,"  should  always  have  a  capital,  while  the 
other  words  of  the  phrase  should  not. 

Never  sign  yourself  by  a  nickname*,  as  Mamie,  or 
Bessie.  It  is  sometimes  allowable  to  sign  only  your 
initials  to  a  letter,  but  this  can  only  be  done  when 
your  correspondent  knows  you  well. 

In  general  make  the  ending  of  your  letter  corre- 
spond with  its  tone  throughout,  and  especially  in  social 
correspondence,  let  it  be  graceful  and  natural.  Inflex- 


THE  BEGINNING  AND  ENDING  OF  LETTERS.  43 


ible  rules  for  the  ending  of  letters  as  for  everything 
else  in  letter-writing,  are  neither  possible  nor  desirable. 
A  kind  heart,  good  breeding,  and  cultivated  taste  will 
prevent  mistakes  here  or  anywhere  else. 

In  letters  from  prominent  persons,  in  my  possession, 
I  find  the  graceful  forms  :  "  Ever  sincerely  yours," 
"  Most  cordially  yours,"  "  Always  cordially  yours," 
"  Very  cordially  yours."  "  Believe  me,  with  much  re- 
gard, very  truly  yours,"  "  Yours,  with  much  regard,"  or 
if  the  note  be  to  a  person  in  affliction,  "  Yours,  with 
much  sympathy,"  are  also  in  good  taste.?  "  Sincerely," 
or  "  Affectionately,"  without  the  word  "  Yours "  is 
never  allowable.  "  Respectfully,"  and  "Very  respect- 
fully," are  alike  inadmissable.  "  Respectfully  yours  " 
is  not  good  form  for  letters  between  persons  of  the 
same  social  standing.  If  the  letter  be  a  very  formal 
one,  "  Your  obedient  servant  "  is  the  form  that  should 
be  used.  "  I  am,  Sincerely  yours,"  is  perfectly  correct, 
but  very  formal.  "  Believe  me,  ever  sincerely  yours," 
is  graceful  and  good.  "  Believe  me  to  be  "  is  not 
correct. 

It  is  entirely  bad  form  to  begin  a  letter,  especially  a 
friendly  letter,  with  the  name,  with  or  without  his 
address,  of  the  person  to  whom  you  are  writing,  as : 

Arthur  Cutler,  Esqr. 

20,  West  43rd  St.,  New  York. 
My  dear  Sir, 


44 


GOOD  FORM, 


If  there  is  any  reason  for  the  person's  name  appear- 
ing at  all,  it  should  come  on  the  last  page,  in  the  left 
hand  corner,  below  the  writer's  signature.  In  business 
letters  it  is  quite  correct  to  put  the  name  at  the  end  of 
the  letter,  but  no  matter  how  common  it  may  be  to  do 
so,  it  is  not  good  form  to  put  it  at  the  beginning. 

Business  letters  must  always  begin,  Sir,  or  Dear  Sir, 
and  end  with  either  Yours,  etc.,  Very  truly  yours,  or,  in 
the  most  formal  letters,  Your  obedient  servant. 

Such  phrases  as,  "  Hoping  to  see  you  soon,"  or 
"Hoping"  anything,  are  ungraceful.  UI  remain 
yours  truly  "  is  nearly  as  bad.  Reniai?i  is  a  fine  word 
and  should  be  avoided. 

In  replying  to  a  letter  never  write  less  familiarly 
than  you  have  been  addressed.  Even  should  you 
think  that  the  writer  has  addressed  you  with  undue 
familiarity,  unless  he  meant  to  offend,  it  is  better 
because  kinder  to  reply  in  a  friendly  way.  On  the 
part  of  ladies,  however,  a  certain  amount  of  reserve  is 
necessary  in  writing  to  strangers.  There  are  men  who 
would  presume  upon  a  woman's  cordiality,  and  would 
make  capital  of  a  letter  written  in  an  ordinarily 
friendly  way.  Even  a  formal  note  can  be  miscon- 
strued by  a  designing  or  pushing  person  into  a  desire 
for  close  friendship.  Suspicion  of  every  one  with 
whom  we  come  in  contact  is  a  detestable  trait,  but  yet, 
in  society,  a  certain  amount  of  reserve  and  caution  are 
necessary  if  we  would  avoid  unpleasant  complications. 

To  an  equal,  one  should  never  write  or  speak  of  a 


THE  BEGINNING  AND  ENDING  OF  LETTERS.  45 


son,  daughter,  brother  or  sister,  as  Mr.  John,  or  Miss 
Florence,  Mr.  Jones,  or  Miss  Jones.  It  is  easy  to  say, 
"  My  daughter,  Kate,"  "  My  brother,  John,"  or  "  My 
sister,  Florence."  I  once  knew  a  family  in  which  there 
were  several  young  women  who  invariably  spoke  of 
each  other  as  "  Miss  Helen,"  "  Miss  Kitty,"  and  "  Miss 
Jane."  It  is  an  insult  to  one's  breeding  to  be  treated 
as  if  the  speaker  or  writer  was  afraid  one  was  in  dan- 
ger of  using  too  familiarly  the  name  of  a  member  of 
his  family. 

It  ought  to  be  quite  unnecessary  to  say  that  to  sign 
one's  self  Mr.,  Mrs.,  Miss,  Dr.,  or  Reverend,  is  a  sign  of 
ill  breeding,  or  of  ignorance,  but  it  is  surprising  how 
often  in  the  case  of  married  women  this  mistake  is 
made.* 

If  a  woman  is  writing  to  a  stranger  she  should  give 
her  address  prefixed  by  Miss,  or  Mrs.  in  brackets  at 
the  close  of  the  letter  after  her  signature.  Or  else  she 
should  say  :  "  Please  address  Miss  Mary  Brooks,"  or 
"  Mrs.  John  Brown."  From  lack  of  thoughtful n ess  in 
this  matter,  on  the  part  of  women,  persons  to  whom 
they  write  are  often  perplexed  to  know  how  to  address 
them.  Sometimes  there  is  no  way  of  deciding  whether 
one's  correspondent  is  a  man  or  a  woman  ;  sometimes 
even  when  this  point  is  made  clear,  it  is  impossible  to 
know  whether  the  woman  is  married  or  unmarried. 

*  In  England  people  of  rank  never  append  their  titles  to  their 
names.  On  the  Continent  this  is  continually  done,  but  it  seems 
a  clear  violation  of  good  taste. 


46 


GOOD  FORM. 


If  it  is  necessary  to  write  junior  after  your  name, 
write  it  jurtr. 

In  business  letters  a  lady  should  not  ordinarily  sign 
her  Christian  name  in  full,  but  only  her  initial  or 
initials,  and  if  a  reply  is  needed,  she  should  be  espe- 
cially careful  to  leave  her  correspondent  in  no  possible 
doubt  as  to  her  sex. 

Avoid  ostentation  in  your  signature  ;  if  you  have 
more  than  three  names  do  not  write  them  all,  but  use 
initials  instead.  It  is  better  to  sign  your  name  always 
in  one  way. 


LETTERS  TO  TRADESMEN  AND  SERVANTS. 

Ladies  are  sometimes  puzzled  to  know  how  to  ad- 
dress inferiors  on  matters  of  business.  In  such  cases 
the  third  person  is  generally  used,  as :  "  Dr.  (or  Mr.) 
Corbett  wishes  Mr.  Smith  to  call  at  his  house,  etc." 
"  Mrs.  Thorne  desires  Ellen  Jones  to  be  at  her  house, 
24,  West  18th  St.,  on  Thursday  morning  at  nine 
o'clock."  If  written  in  the  first  person,  as  they  some- 
times are,  such  notes  should  begin  :  "  To  Mr.  Smith. 
Please  call  at  my  house,  etc."  "  To  Ellen  Jones. 
I  wish  you  to  have  my  house  in  readiness,"  etc. 
These  notes  should  end  simply  with  the  writer's  signa- 
ture. 


47 


LETTERS  WRITTEN  IN  THE  THIRD  PER- 
SON. 

The  French  say  :  "  In  manuscript  letters  never  use 
the  third  person  except  when  writing  to  your  dress- 
maker or  your  tailor."  Formal  notes  of  invitation  also, 
and  replies  thereto,  are  of  course  written  in  the  third 
person.  In  such  notes  one  must  be  careful  never  to 
drift  into  the  use  of  the  first  person.    To  write  : 

"Mrs.  Jones  accepts  with  pleasure  Mrs.  Brown's  kind 
invitation  for  luncheon  on  Monday,  January  sixth ;  / 
shall  be  delighted  to  meet  Lady  Jenks,"  would  be  a 
shocking  mistake.  The  note  must  be  consistent 
throughout. 

In  invitations  to  weddings  it  is  customary  in  Amer- 
ica to  say  : 

"  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brown  request  your  presence  at  the 
marriage  of  their  daughter,  etc." 

This  form  is  perhaps  so  well  established  that  it  may 
be  felt  that  we  have  no  right  to  criticise  it ;  but  it  seems 
to  me  a  little  lacking  in  respect  for  the  guest  who  has  a 
right  to  expect  that  his  name  shall  appear  on  the  in- 
vitation as  well  as  the  names  of  his  host  and  hostess, 

48 


LETTERS  WRITTEN  IN  THE  THIRD  PERSON.  49 


and  that  if  his  host  and  hostess  accord  themselves  the 
dignity  of  the  third  person,  they  should  likewise  give 
it  to  him.  If  the  form  does  not  lack  respect  I  think 
it  at  least  lacks  consistency,  and  I  believe  that  in 
England  it  is  never  used.  There  the  guest's  name  is 
always  written  even  though  the  rest  of  the  invitation 
is  printed. 

In  notes  of  invitation  to  dinner  the  guest's  name 
of  course  always  appears.    This  rule  is  invariable. 
Engraved  notes  or  cards  for  dinner  invitations  have  a 
blank  line  to  be  filled  in  with  the  pen. 
4 


INVITATIONS  AND  THEIR  ANSWERS. 

Notes  of  invitation  are  either  formal  or  informal,  and 
may  be  either  engraved  or  written  on  note-paper  of 
the  proper  size.  For  many  invitations  cards  are  more 
convenient  than  note-paper  and  are  perfectly  good 
form.  Formal  invitations  to  dinners  are  issued  by  both 
the  host  and  the  hostess  ;  to  weddings  by  the  father 
and  mother  of  the  bride  elect.  Informal  invitations  to 
dinner  are  issued  by  the  hostess  alone,  and  the  same 
is  true  of  weddings,  when  the  bride's  mother  gives  the 
invitation.  An  informal  note  of  invitation  to  dinner 
might  be  as  follows  : 

My  dear  Dr.  Coan, 

We  are  to  have  a  small  dinner  party  on 
Saturday,  May  3rd;  will  you  give  us  the  pleasure 
of  your  company  ?     We  dine  at  seven. 

Very  sincerely  yours , 

Rosalie  Tows. 

Informal  notes  of  invitation,  however,  follow  the 
lules  for  all  friendly  correspondence,  except  that  they 

5° 


INVITATIONS  AND  THEIR  REPLIES.         5  I 


must  always  be  brief,  and  for  them  no  special  direc- 
tions are  possible. 

Invitations  to  balls,  receptions,  and  garden  parties, 
are  issued  by  the  hostess  alone. 

The  arrangement  of  the  lines  of  an  engraved  invita- 
tion of  course  requires  great  care.  In  the  little  book 
on  cards  in  this  series,  forms,  capable  however  of 
more  or  less  variation,  will  be  found  for  invitations  to 
dinners,  luncheons,  weddings,  balls,  receptions  and 
golden  weddings.  It  should  be  borne  in  mind  among 
other  things  that  the  word  "  evening "  must  never 
appear  in  a  formal  invitation  to  dinner  or  in  the  reply 
thereto. 

English  custom  does  not  sanction  coupling  the 
names  of  the  husband  and  the  wife  in  the  address  on  an 
envelope.  Invitations  to  dinners  and  weddings  in  the 
best  English  society,  if  sent  to  a  man  and  his  wife  are 
always  addressed  to  the  wife  alone,  she  being  regarded 
as  the  head  of  the  domestic  and  social  affairs  of  the  fam- 
ily. Replies  to  these  invitations  are  addressed  in  the 
same  way,  even  though  the  husband  have  joined,  as  he 
always  does  join,  in  giving  the  invitation.  This  custom 
is  to  my  mind,  clearly,  in  much  better  taste  than  that 
of  coupling  the  husband's  name  with  the  wife's,  and 
should  be  strictly  followed. 

R.  S.  V.  P.,  Repondez  s'il  vous  plais,  is  much  used 
on  notes  of  invitation  but  it  can  never  be  the  best 
form.  All  invitations  should  be  answered  except  those 
to  receptions,  and  to  put  R.  S.  "V.  P.  in  your  note 


52 


GOOD  FORM. 


seems  like  asking  the  person  whom  you  have  invited 
to  do  something  he  would  be  inexcusable  for  not 
doing.  R.  S.  V.  P.  and  P.  P.  C.  should  when  used 
strictly  be  written  R.  s.  v.  p.,  and  P.  p.  c. 

Replies  to  formal  invitations  of  all  kinds  will  have 
much  the  same  form.  In  all  cases  this  form  will  be 
somewhat  as  follows  : 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brown  have  (not  will  have),  much 
pleasure  in  accepting  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Jones'*  kind  invita- 
tion to  dinner  on  Friday,  January  8th, 

or 

Mr.  and  Mrs.  Brown  accept  with  pleasure  Mr.  and 
Mrs.  Jones'  kind  invitation,  etc. 

"  Mr.  Brown  presents  his  compliments "  is  good 
form  but  old  fashioned. 

In  accepting  or  refusing  invitations  all  curt  phrases 
written  on  visiting  cards,  such  as  "  Accepts  with  pleas- 
ure," or  "  Regrets,"  are  very  bad  form.  A  graceful 
form  of  refusal  of  an  invitation  which  with  slight 
changes  will  be  correct  in  all  cases  is  the  following  : 

Mr.  Brown  regrets  that  a  previous  engagement  pre- 
vents his  accepting  Mr.  and  Mrs.  Jones'  kind  invitatio?i 
to  dinner  on  Thursday,  January  Sth, 

or 

Mr.  Bro7vn  regrets  that  owing  to  a  previous  engage- 
ment he  is  unable  to  accept,  etc., 

or 


INVITATIONS  AND  THEIR  REPLIES.  53 


Mr.  Brown  regrets  that  absence  from  town  prevents 
his  accepting,  etc. 

In  refusing  an  invitation  some  polite  excuse  must 
always  be  given.  In  refusing  an  invitation  do  not 
use  the  word  decline. 

All  replies  to  invitations  should  have  at  the  bottom 
the  address  of  the  writer,  and  the  date,  without  the 
year.  The  date  should  if  possible  be  limited  to  the 
day  of  the  week ;  the  year  must  never  be  written. 
Note-paper  stamped  with  the  writer's  address  needs 
of  course  only  the  date  at  the  bottom. 

In  addressing  a  gentleman's  note,  although  you 
have  properly  written  Mr.  before  his  name  in  the  invi- 
tation be  careful  to  address  his  envelope  "  John  Brown, 
Esquire." 

Never  answer  an  invitation  on  a  post  card  or  ^ 
business  paper. 


POSTSCRIPTS. 


Say  what  you  have  to  say  in  the  body  of  yo\xr  lettei 
and  use  postscripts  as  little  as  possible.  If  you  are 
obliged  to  add  a  postscript,  put  before  it  the  letters  P. 
S.,  make  it  as  brief  as  possible,  and  sign  your  initials. 

Never  cross  your  letters,  in  these  days  both  paper 
and  postage  are  cheap. 


LETTERS   OF    CONGRATULATION,  CONDO- 
LENCE, ETC. 


To  write  a  graceful  letter  of  congratulation,  or  of 
sympathy,  requires  both  kindly  instinct  and  practice. 
One  of  our  most  important  social  duties  is  the  prompt 
recognition  by  a  graceful,  feeling  note  of  any  unusual 
event,  any  good  or  ill  luck  in  the  lives  of  our  friends. 
We  shall  not  often  make  a  mistake  in  extending  even 
to  those  who  are  not  our  most  intimate  friends  our 
congratulations  when  they  are  in  joy,  our  sympathy 
when  they  are  in  sorrow.  Indeed  the  failure  to  re- 
ceive the  congratulation  or  sympathy  of  their  friends 
often  lessens  people's  pleasure  or  aggravates  their 
pain.  Among  our  most  sacred  treasures  we  keep  the 
letters  of  sympathy  we  have  received  when  we  were 
in  trouble,  and  we  always  feel  more  kindly  towards 
the  people  who  were  thoughtful  enough  to  write 
them. 

If  we  are  really  kind  and  sympathetic  there  is  little 
danger  that  our  letters  will  ever  be  considered  intru- 
sive. The  spirit  of  the  Saviour's  injunction,  "  Rejoice 
with  them  that  do  rejoice,  and  weep  with  them  that 

55 


56 


GOOD  FORM. 


weep,"  will  sometimes  impel  us,  when  we  know  that 
they  are  in  peculiar  trouble,  to  write  to  persons  with 
whom  we  have  little  or  no  acquaintance  ;  and  if  they 
are  at  all  well  bred,  they  will  only  feel  grateful  for 
such  letters,  and  be  drawn  by  them  more  closely  to 
their  kind.  Such  letters,  among  people  who  visit, 
or  who  have  long  been  acquainted,  should  never 
be  omitted.  Engagements,  marriages,  births,  and 
deaths,  are  always  events  of  importance  in  the 
families  of  our  friends,  and  it  is  very  remiss  in  us 
not  to  show  our  interest  in  these  events.  As  with 
all  friendly  letters,  the  letters  in  question  should 
be  unstudied,  free  from  affectation,  and  as  nearly 
as  possible  like  good  conversation.  "  The  supreme 
excellence  of  a  familiar  letter  is  naturalness/1  some 
one  says.  In  writing  to  our  friends  we  should  always 
try  to  write  in  the  most  natural  and  graceful  way  the 
things  we  should  want  to  say  were  we  conversing  with 
them.  Through  fear  of  saying  too  much  people  some- 
times make  their  letters  barren  and  colorless  ;  through 
fear  of  seeming  discourteous,  they  often  make  them 
stilted  and  stiff. 

After  a  visit  at  any  one's  house  always  write  a  let- 
ter expressing  the  pleasure  you  have  had,  and  ac- 
knowledging the  kindness  you  have  received  as  his 
guest.    Never  by  any  chance  omit  this. 


ILL-TEMPERED  LETTERS. 

Never  write  a  grumbling  or  an  ill-tempered  letter, 
Litera  scripta  manet.  An  ill-tempered  utterance 
always  seems  worse  on  paper  than  when  it  is  spoken. 
If  in  a  moment  of  bitterness  you  should  write 
an  offensive  letter,  one  calculated  to  widen  rather 
than  heal  the  breach  between  yourself  and  another 
person,  tear  it  up  and  put  it  in  the  fire.  Many  people 
have  an  impulse  when  they  have  any  grievance  to  pour 
it  out  on  paper  to  the  offender,  or  to  some  other  per- 
son, but  it  is  an  impulse  to  be  severely  checked.  Bit- 
ter words  should  never  be  spoken,  but  much  less 
should  they  be  written.  The  wounds  made  by  ill 
natured  remarks  in  letters  heal  more  slowly  perhaps 
than  any  others.  Never  send  to  the  post  at  once  a 
letter  written  in  a  sour  or  angry  mood  ;  if  it  is  a 
relief  to  you  to  write  it  do  so,  but  let  no  eyes  but  your 
own  see  it.  Never  send  such  a  letter  merely  because 
you  have  not  time  to  write  another.  No  letter  is 
infinitely  better  than  a  disagreeable  one.  If  you 
should  ever  receive  an  ill-tempered  letter,  whether  you 

57 


58 


GOOD  FORM. 


are  in  the  habit  of  keeping  the  letters  you  receive  or 
not,  destroy  it  at  once.  The  sting  it  makes  is  more 
likely  to  disappear  if  the  letter  is  known  to  be  no 
longer  in  existence. 


ANONYMOUS  LETTERS. 


Never  for  any  reason  write  an  anonymous  letter. 
Anonymous  letters  are  an  abomination.  In  times  of 
great  public  disturbance  they  have  sometimes  perhaps 
been  necessary,  but  in  social  life  there  is  no  excuse  for 
them,  and  no  respectable  man  or  woman  will  ever 
write  one.  If  at  any  time  you  should  be  unlucky 
enough  to  receive  such  a  letter,  tear  it  up  if  possible 
without  reading  it  and  forget  it  as  soon  as  you  can, 
for  it  has  been  sent  by  some  misguided,  or  some 
low,  cowardly  person.  If  you  have  anything  to  say  to 
a  person,  say  it  over  your  own  name  or  else  leave  it 
unsaid.  Information  or  advice  given  anonymously  is 
likely  to  do  more  harm  than  good. 


59 


LETTERS  TO  ABSENT  FRIENDS. 


Write  often  to  absent  friends,  particularly  the  absent 
members  of  your  own  family,  your  brothers  and  sisters. 
A  little  care  in  this  direction  will  often  bring  comfort 
to  a  desolate  heart,  and  perhaps  act  as  a  restraint  on 
one  who  is  tempted  to  go  wrong.  When  families 
scatter  there  should  be  some  one  among  them  to  write 
weekly  letters  to  the  others,  or  to  write  a  circular  let- 
ter to  be  sent  from  one  to  the  other  of  the  scattered 
group.  There  are  few  ways  in  which  one  can  be  so 
useful  to  those  nearest  him  as  by  patient  care  year 
after  year  in  writing  to  them  of  the  people  that  interest 
and  the  things  that  concern  him  and  them  alike. 


60 


ENTHUSIASM  ;  KIND  WORDS  IN  LETTERS. 


Do  not  be  afraid  to  express  yourself  sometimes 
with  enthusiasm.  Frigid,  unemotional  letters,  like 
frigid  words,  chill  the  person  who  receives  them.  If 
it  is  not  good  form  to  be  over  demonstrative,  it  is  cer- 
tainly a  great  mistake  never  to  express  and  express 
heartily  one's  likes  and  dislikes.  We  like  much  better 
those  whom  we  have  treated  with  cordialitv  and  to 
whom  we  have  said  kind,  appreciative  things.  Make 
it  a  rule  of  your  life  to  praise  people ;  men  and 
women  of  common  sense  are  never  unduly  elated  by  a 
little  praise.  It  is  an  excusable  fault  to  express  your- 
self sometimes  more  strongly  than  the  virtue  you  are 
praising  may  seem  to  warrant.  Do  not  be  untruthful 
/n  your  relations  with  others,  but  in  so  far  as  you 
reasonably  can,  try  to  make  them  feel  happy. 


61 


BUSINESS  LETTERS. 


When  we  know  the  general  rules  for  letter-writing 
we  need  few  rules  for  any  particular  form  of  letter. 
A  business  letter  like  any  other  may  be  written  grace- 
fully or  ungracefully.  It  may  be  grammatical  or 
ungrammatical,  properly  spelled  or  mispelled,  clear  in 
its  statements,  or  ambiguous  and  hard  to  understand, 
concise  or  wordy.  Perhaps  the  worst  fault  of  many 
business  letters  is  the  bungling  or  stilted  way  in  which 
they  begin.  For  example  :  "  I  have  your  letter  of  the 
25th,  and  in  reply  I  would  say,  etc."  How  much 
more  direct  and  graceful  to  write  :  "  In  reply  to  your 
letter  of  the  25th  let  me  say,  etc." 

Business  letters,  and  as  a  rule  business  letters  alone, 
should  bear  the  name  of  the  person  written  to  at  the 
bottom  of  the  last  page,  below  the  writers  signature, 
in  the  left  hand  corner.  It  is  common  in  America,  but 
it  is  a  disagreeable  custom,  to  put  the  name  and 
address  of  the  person  written  to  at  the  beginning  of 
the  letter. 

In  business  letters  be  civil,  straightforward,  concise 
as  possible,  and  above  all,  clear  and  unambiguous  in 

62 


BUSINESS  LETTERS. 


63 


your  statements.  Use  good  grammar,  write  legibly  on 
white  paper  with  black  ink,  and  do  not  cross  your 
letters.  In  business  letters  to  which  you  desire  an 
answer,  always  enclose  a  stamp. 

In  general  it  may  be  said  that  business  letters 
should  not  be  written  when  one  can  transact  his  busi- 
ness by  word  of  mouth.  Some  man  has  said  that  he 
would  rather  go  ten  miles  out  of  his  way  to  see  a  man 
than  write  him  a  letter. 


POST  CARDS. 

For  business  purposes  postal  (the  English  say  post) 
cards  are  very  convenient,  but  nothing  private  should 
ever  be  written  on  them — nothing  which  your  corres- 
pondent would  not  wish  known. 


64 


ANSWERING  LETTERS. 


In  answering  letters  try  to  satisfy  the  person  to 
whom  you  are  writing  on  every  point  on  which  he  has 
asked  information.  Much  trouble  and  annoyance  may 
be  saved  your  correspondent  if  you  will  keep  his  let- 
ters on  file  until  you  are  ready  to  answer  them,  and 
then  read  them  carefully  over.  If  you  neglect  this, 
you  will  be  sure  to  omit  in  your  answer  some  things  of 
importance  to  yourself  or  to  him.  Correspondence  of 
all  kinds  should  be  conducted  in  a  prompt,  business- 
like, thorough  way. 
S 


65 


JOKES  ;  EGOTISM  ;  HASTE,  ETC. 


In  your  letters  as  a  rule  avoid  jokes  and  personal 
allusions.  There  are  things  which  may  be  said,  but 
cannot  be  written.  In  writing  always  be  courteous 
and  dignified. 

Be  especially  careful  not  to  confound  your  pronouns. 
When  you  have  occasion  to  use  the  words,  he,  she,  it, 
them,  their,  leave  no  room  for  doubt  about  the  nouns 
for  which  they  stand. 

Be  careful  not  to  write  too  little  on  a  line,  or  to  sep- 
arate words  unduly.  Write  long  letters  only  to  inti- 
mate friends,  but  to  them  write  whatever  you  think 
they  will  be  interested  in  knowing,  and  that  will  prob- 
ably be  whatever  interests  yourself. 

It  is  possible  that  fear  of  egotism  sometimes 
makes  people  write  barren,  unsatisfactory  letters. 
They  are  afraid  of  saying  much  about  their  personal 
affairs  lest  they  shall  seem  too  self-engrossed.  If  you 
are  writing  to  a  friend,  particularly  an  intimate  friend, 
do  not  be  afraid  to  tell  him  the  little  details  of  your 
life.  If  he  be  your  friend  these  are  the  things  that  will 
surely  interest  him  most.    The  people  you  meet,  the 

66 


JOKES;  EGOTISM;  HASTE,  ETC,  67 

things  you  converse  about,  your  home  surroundings, 
the  occupations  that  fill  your  time,  not  one  of  such  de- 
tails can  fail  to  help  make  your  letter  interesting.  It 
is  these  little  things  that  make  up  the  sum  of  human 
life,  not  the  exceptional  or  great  things,  and  he  who 
would  establish  or  keep  alive  a  true,  close  friendship 
must  speak  or  write  freely  of  them  to  his  friend. 

In  all  your  correspondence  if  possible  avoid  haste. 
Haste  implies  lack  of  formality  and  therefore  lack  of 
respect  for  your  correspondent. 


/ 


KEEPING  LETTERS. 

The  keeping  of  letters  is  a  subject  on  which  opin- 
ions greatly  differ.  Some  religiously  keep  every  letter 
they  receive,  some  keep  only  family  letters,  while  some 
as  sacredly  destroy  both,  preferring  that  no  one  be- 
sides themselves  should  ever  read  their  correspond- 
ence. The  subject  is  not  an  indifferent  one.  Family 
letters  may  in  time  have  great  value  to  the  descend- 
ants of  those  who  have  written  them,  while  letters 
from  distinguished  persons  will  surely  be  treasured  by 
and  by.  Some  letters  should  clearly  be  destroyed  at 
once,  but  it  is  certain  that  the  wholesale  destruction  of 
the  letters  one  receives  is  a  mistake. 


68 


WRITING  MATERIALS  FOR  GUESTS. 


If  you  have  guests  at  your  house  never  leave  them 
to  "  shift  for  themselves  "  in  the  matter  of  stationery. 
There  is  no  more  delightful  hospitality  in  the  world 
than  that  of  the  best  English  country  houses,  none 
more  graceful  or  delicately  thoughtful,  and  one  of  the 
recognized  duties  of  this  hospitality  is  to  provide  each 
guest  with  writing  materials  and  postage  stamps.  In 
every  guest  chamber  will  be  found  a  supply  of  good 
white  paper  and  envelopes,  a  box  of  postage  stamps,  a 
wax  taper,  and  some  red  sealing  wax,  together  with  a 
list  of  the  hours  at  which  letters  arrive  and  are  taken 
to  the  post.  This  is  a  provision  that  no  American 
hostess  should  ever  forget  to  make  for  the  comfort  of 
her  guests. 


69 


FORMS  OF  ADDRESS  IN  WRITING  TO  PUB- 
LIC   MEN,    OFFICERS    OF  THE 
ARMY  AND  NAVY,  ETC. 

The  President  of  the  United  States  is  addressed 
"  His  Excellency,  the  President  of  the  United  States, 
the  Executive  Mansion,  Washington,  D.  C,"  and  a 
letter  to  him  should  begin,  "  Sir."  The  Cabinet  offi- 
cers, who  are  the  Secretary  of  State,  Secretary  of  the 
Treasury,  Secretary  of  War,  Secretary  of  the  Navy, 
Postmaster  General,  Secretary  of  the  Interior,  Attorney 
General,  and  Secretary  of  Agriculture,  are  addressed 
as  "  The  Honorable,  The  Secretary  of  State  (or  other 
department),  Washington,  D.  C."  Letters  to  them 
should  also  begin,  "  Sir." 

The  Chief  Justice  and  Judges  of  the  Supreme  Court 
are  addressed  as  "  The  Honorable  the  Chief  Justice 
of  the  United  States,  Washington,  D.  C,"  and  "  The 
Honorable  Justice  (surname),  Supreme  Court  of  the 
United  States."  They  are  familiarly  spoken  of  as  "  Mr. 
Justice  (surname),"  and  when  spoken  to  are  addressed 
as  "  Your  Honor."  Besides  the  Chief  Justice  there  are 
seven  Justices  of  the  Supreme  Court.    Judges  of  the 

70 


LETTERS  TO  DISTINGUISHED  PEOPLE.      7 1 


Circuit  Courts  are  addressed  as  "The  Honorable  Jus- 
tice (surname). "  There  are  nine  Judicial  Circuits  in 
the  United  States.  All  other  judges,  as  of  the  United 
States  Court  of  Claims,  the  Supreme  Court  of  the  Dis- 
trict of  Columbia,  and  the  District  Courts,  are  ad- 
dressed in  the  same  way. 

Members  of  the  Foreign  Legations  in  the  United 
States  often  have  some  title,  as  Chevalier,  Count, 
Baron,  etc.,  and  are  usually  styled  "  His  Excellency." 
In  Spofford's  American  Almanac  the  titles  and  rank 
of  these  men  are  fully  given.  If  a  member  of  legation 
have  no  other  title  it  is  courteous  to  address  him  as 
"  The  Honorable." 

Members  of  the  United  States  Consular  Service 
are  usually  styled  simply  "  Esquire."  Members  of  the 
Diplomatic  Service  of  the  United  States  are  addressed 
as  "The  Honorable."  Officers  of  the  regular  army, 
from  General  to  Second  Lieutenant,  are  addressed  by 
their  full  names  prefixed  by  their  titles.  The  same 
rule  is  followed  in  the  case  of  officers  of  the  navy. 

Governors  of  States  are  styled  "  His  Excellency 
Governor  (surname)." 

Congressmen  are  styled  "The  Honorable  (sur- 
name), M.  C." 

Mayors  of  cities  are  styled  "  His  Worship  Mayor 
(surname)." 

Clergymen  are  addressed  as  "  The  Right  Reverend," 
or  "  The  Reverend  (Christian  name  and  surname)." 
To  write  to,  or  speak  of  a  clergyman  as  "  The  Rever- 


72 


GOOD  FORM. 


end  Smith  "  would  be  exceedingly  bad  form.  If  by 
any  chance  you  do  not  know  his  first  name,  in  address 

ing  him  write,  "  The   Reverend  Smith."  In 

speaking  of  him  always  say  simply,  "  Mr.  Smith,"  or  if 
he  be  a  doctor  of  divinity  "  Dr.  Smith."  In  abbrevia- 
ting the  word  Reverend,  it  is  better  form  to  write 
Revd.,  putting  the  d  above  the  other  letters  as  in  the 
case  of  Mrs. 

Physicians  have  the  letters  M.  D.,  written  after  their 
names.  In  writing  to  them  never  address  them, 
"  Dear  Doctor."  This  is  bad  form ;  the  surname 
should  always  be  written. 

It  is  a  growing  habit  in  America  to  speak  or  write  of 
men  as  "  Sergeant-at-arms  Smith,"  "  Sewer  Commis- 
sioner Jones,"  "  Newspaper  Editor  Brown,"  "  Civil 
Service  Commissioner  Robinson."  The  habit  is  de- 
testable and  should  always  be  frowned  upon.  It  is  not 
uncommon  to  see  women  styled  "Mrs.  Dr.  A.,"  "Mrs. 
General  B.,"  "  Mrs.  Secretary  C,"  "  Mrs.  Bishop  X.," 
or  even  in  some  quarters  "Mrs.  Reverend  Z."  This  is 
entirely  wrong. 

In  England,  when  "  senior  "  and  "  junior  "  are  writ- 
ten after  men's  names  they  are  contracted  into  "senr." 
and  "junr."  English  people  rarely  use  more  than  two 
names  in  signing  their  letters.  A  lady  signs  herself 
"Catherine  Smith,"  not  Catherine  E.  Smith,  and  peo- 
ple are  spoken  of  not  as  Mr.  John  P.  Jones,  or 
Mrs.  William  R.  Lord,  but  as  "  Mr.  John  Jones,"  or 
"  Mrs.  William  Lord." 


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LETTERS  TO  DISTINGUISHED  PEOPLE.  77 


In  informal  letters,  we  should  say  "  My  Dear  Duke," 
or  "  Dear  Lord  etc.,  and  end  with  "  Yours  sin- 
cerely/' or  some  other  simple  phrase. 

The  one  remaining  point  in  connection  with  letters 
to  distinguished  persons  is,  whether  in  these  letters, 
either  at  the  beginning  or  the  end,  we  should  give  the 
address  which,  when  the  letter  is  sealed,  will  form  the 
superscription.  Whoever  will  take  the  trouble  to  ex- 
amine the  official  and  diplomatic  correspondence  of 
colonial  times,  of  New  York  or  New  England,  will  find 
that  in  the  letters  which  passed  between  distinguished 
people  on  both  sides  of  the  Atlantic,  while  there  is  no 
invariable  rule  in  this  matter,  the  form  most  common, 
so  common,  indeed,  that  we  must  regard  it  as  the 
established  form,  is  to  put  the  full  address  of  the  per- 
son written  to  at  the  close  of  the  letter  in  the  lower 
left  hand  corner.  There,  too,  the  writer's  address  and 
the  date  may  be  written,  but  they  may  just  as  properly 
be  placed  at  the  beginning,  in  the  upper  right  hand 
corner.  Some  of  the  most  courtly  letters  of  this  period 
begin  simply  "  Sir  "  or  "  Madam,"  and  end  without  the 
name  of  the  person  written  to  appearing  at  all.  In 
this  case  the  superscription  on  the  envelope  alone 
would  contain  his  name  and  address. 

In  writing  to  distinguished  persons  at  home  or 
abroad  the  following  rule  may  safely  be  followed. 
Put  your  own  address  as  simply  as  possible  at  the  be- 
ginning of  your  letter,  and  the  name  and  titles  of  the 
person  to  whom  you  are  writing  at  the  end.    The  date 


78 


GOOD  FORM. 


may,  without  any  violation  of  good  form,  be  written 
directly  under  your  own  address,  but  it  is  perhaps  a 
little  better,  if  there  is  plenty  of  room  without  crowd- 
ing, to  put  it  at  the  end,  below  the  name  of  your  corre- 
spondent. 

To  the  whole  subject  of  letter-writing  one  must 
bring  a  clear  head,  a  quick  imagination  and  refined 
taste,  "  which,"  as  Herbert  Spencer  says,  "  will  go 
far  toward  making  all  precepts  needless."  There 
may  possibly  be  a  few  details  which  have  not  been 
touched  upon  in  this  little  book,  but  the  principles 
have  here  been  given,  and  the  letter-writer's  own  good 
sense  may  safely  be  trusted  to  supply  all  that  has  been 
left  out. 


GOOD  FORM  SERIES 


x.  CARDS. 

Their  significance  and  proper  uses. 

By  the  author  of  "Social  Etiquette  of  New  York." 

•*  The  most  useful  and  sensible  little  volume  on  card  etiquette  that  hat  as 
yet  made  its  appearance? —  Woman's  Cycle. 

2.  DINNERS. 

Ceremonious  and  Unceremonious,  with  the  Modern  Methods  of  Ser- 
ving them. 

By  the  author  of  "Social  Etiquette  of  New  York." 

A  Work  of  the  greatest  possible  value  to  all  who  give  dinners,  whether 
formal  or  informal. 

"v4  little  volume  noticeable  for  a  just  appreciation  of  the  Art  of  dinner 
giving  and  for  sound  common  sense  regarding  the  proprieties  thereof" — The 
New  York  Sun. 

3.    MANNERS,  GOOD  AND  BAD. 

By  the  author  of  "Social  Etiquette  of  New  York,"  "Cards,  their  Signifi- 
cance and  Correct  Uses,"  etc. 

This  little  book  contains  a  wealth  of  useful  hints  as  to  what  people  ought 
to  avoid  in  social  life.  Full  of  suggestive  information  for  even  the  best  bred 
people. 

4.    LETTER  WRITING,  ITS  ETHICS  AND 
ETIQUETTE. 

By  the  Rev.  Arthur  Wentworth  Eaton. 

An  especially  valuable  book,  because  in  no  respect  do  customs  change 
more  than  in  the  methods  of  conducting  social  and  business  correspondence. 
A  complete  and  thorough  treatise  upon  the  subject  by  an  entirely  competent 
authority. 

5.  WEDDINGS. 

By  the  author  of  "  Good  Form  Cards,"  11  Dinners,"  etc. 

Full  of  valuable  information  as  to  the  formalities  of  weddings,  and  the  best 
methods  of  making  them  attractive  and  picturesque. 

Each  x  vol.,  x6mo,  cloth,  with  neat  stamping  in  gold.  Price,  each, 
75  cents. 


FREDERICK  A.  STOKES  COMPANY, 

Publishers^ 
NEW  YORK. 


UNIVERSITY  OF  CALIFORNIA-LOS  ANGELES 


L  010  562  197  3 


